Good Night... Sleep Tight...
It is easier said than done as far as I am concerned.
I have been studying in Mumbai for the last five years now and I have been living at this hostel for most of the while. It is a great place on account of the location and food and everything. It truly is a blessing… but there has been this one problem that has crept in – quite literally – since the past three years or so. We have suddenly been infested with the Bed Bug! Damn the bloody (PUN ABSOLUTELY BLOODY INTENDED!) pests. The have more or less had a free run of the premises and almost gotten into every room so there’s no escaping them.
The bugs are probably one of the hardiest creatures I have seen. Every year I have to change my room and they seem to be everywhere! It has almost become a habit now – spending sleepless nights on their account. I rudely awaken to a mild burning or itchy sensation and then switch on the lights and search the mattress or blanket to locate them and then proceed to get rid of them… when it gets really bad I wake at almost regular half- hourly to hourly intervals.
In fact, I think I have gotten to be so good at this subject, that I could probably do a thesis on them or even attempt a Ph .D. on these critters. At any rate Discovery or National Geographic can at least use my expertise and do a feature on them. I know their hiding places. I have learnt to hold them so they don’t wriggle free. I have learnt to spot their small eggs from a mile. My skin has become so trained in perceiving them and their tactile transgressions – the wheal that signals a just-concluded-repast wants me to cry out that my blood boils! But I find myself helpless in employing that phrase for the very want of blood in the first place!
What makes me feel worse is that on the one hand we have my red marrow (which decreases in quantity with age – and I ain’t exactly in my cherubic pre-teens anymore!) which produces the red corpuscles at their accustomed rate and then one fine day it starts receiving confusing signals that make is seem like there is a deficiency thanks to these blood suckers!
So my hematological systems are thrown out of gear… small, immature, not yet enucleated red cells are pressed into service and must perform the tasks of ferrying oxygen to all my organ systems only to taken by surprise as a bunch of them are filing past in an orderly manner - through some capillary - going about their business of perfusing some tissue when they suddenly realize they are under attack and that there is a breach of some sort. Poor guys, what defense against such a foe?
The place has been pest controlled a few times. I myself bought some sprays and almost wet the damn bed that I sleep on with it. These guys seem to be able to sneak into the smallest crevices… and then come out to play and wreak havoc at night.
I do not have nine lives. Even if I did, I surely don’t want to be utilizing my allotted quota of this precious extra-cellular fluid in this life itself lest I am left anemic in the next few lifetimes if I subscribe to the karmic cycle and all that too!
I wish like Bush I could probably run amok in some other region to requisition some supply of precious liquid… or perhaps employ some WMD’s to take care of this chumps.
I eat well. I exercise regularly. I work out my lungs and cardio-vascular system with aerobic activities and all that jazz… I try keeping my muscles toned and worked out, try to achieve all that target heart rate, improve stamina etc. etc. I make sure I am taking all those proteins and pro-biotic foods… For what? Rants my brain… Take care of these marauders first!
…And if they do
… Hit them with a shoe
… Till they are black and blue!
Like I said at the start of this piece… easier said than done…
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